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flipomatic · 4 years ago

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A New World Chapter 7: Fully Devoted

Author Note: Miss Imai Lisa please accept my sincere apology.

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Today should’ve been a good day. No, it should’ve been a great day.

Everything was lined up perfectly. There was a whole three hour block on the master schedule that was completely blank. Lisa was able to schedule a studio for the entire time.

All of Roselia would be able to rehearse together. The stars had finally aligned in their favor, for just three short hours.

At the start of rehearsal, Lisa’s heart felt warm as she looked around at her bandmates. It had been so long since they had practiced together like this, all in the same room.

They warmed up on some of their older songs, starting on Black Shout, with each instrument playing its part.

It didn’t sound the same though, not like it usually did. Lisa wasn’t exactly sure why, but something felt different. The mix didn’t match the same way it used to. The volume of the instruments seemed balanced, so that wasn’t the problem. The notes and lyrics were the same too. Something else had changed.

Lisa listened to each of her bandmates in turn. She started with the piano, playing directly behind her.

Rinko had always showed emotion in her playing, especially in piano heavy songs. She attacked each part of the song with enthusiasm, her fingers flitting quickly across the keys.

Something about her sound had changed. Lisa hadn’t thought Rinko’s playing could be more expressive than it was before, but somehow it was. She matched the tone of the piece perfectly. When Lisa glanced back at her, Rinko’s expression was serious. She was looking between her keyboard and Yukina, likely for cues.

Her sound was strong, exuding confidence and strength. The notes were placed with precision, with exactly the right emphasis.

It was amazing, better than Lisa had ever heard Rinko play. She blended perfectly into the song. She must’ve been learning a lot at university, to have improved this much in such a short time. It was impressive, even as Lisa played the same way she always had.

Rinko’s sound wasn’t the only one that had changed. Next to her, Ako’s drumming was different too.

Today, Ako was keeping consistent time. Not that she didn’t usually, but it sometimes fluctuated. Lisa was used to playing around that, especially in newer songs. Right now though, Ako was completely solid.

Lisa shifted her gaze there, having to turn her body farther to do so. Yukina’s eyes flicked over to her as she moved, but she kept singing the song.

Ako’s drumming technique seemed to have improved as well, Lisa noticed. She was playing with more control, and more finesse.

Lisa kept turning, looking across Yukina at Sayo. As usual, Sayo looked serious as she played. She didn’t have her music out today, which was unusual. Even when they practiced older songs, Sayo often had the sheet music in front of her.

Though she was frowning, Sayo’s sound was nearly perfect. The guitar carried the song, and now more than ever Sayo’s playing made her part in the song clear. She played more expressively than she ever had before.

Lisa’s three fellow musicians had all leveled up since the start of the school year. They were each bringing new skills, a new power level to Roselia. As always, they astounded her.

She kept playing the song to the best of her abilities, maintaining the bass line below the others.

Lisa’s eyes moved to her last bandmate, her vocalist Yukina. No matter what song she sang, she always attracted the spotlight.

Unexpectedly, Lisa’s eyes locked with glimmering gold ones. As they neared the end of Black Shout, Yukina had been watching her. Her eyes were unreadable, carrying an emotion Lisa couldn’t identify.

Yukina’s singing was immaculate, clear, and powerful. She sang beautifully since she was a child, and now that she was learning vocals full time her voice had continued to blossom. She truly was Roselia’s vocalist, who would lead the band to the very top.

Lisa’s bandmates had all improved this year. They were all raising Roselia higher.

What had Lisa done?

Lisa had been flooded with assignments and tests since the start of the school year. She worked hard to organize the calendar and go to as many Roselia rehearsals as she could.

She practiced multiple times a week, maintaining her chops and refining her playing. She did her best to be the bassist Roselia needed. As they played their very first song, that goal felt like it was slipping from between her fingers.

Lisa reached up with her band, but she had never been farther away. They were vanishing into the distance, into the world of professional music.

For her to just stay the same, to play the bass the same way she always did, that wouldn’t work. Lisa needed to improve too.

The band rolled into Re Birthday next, as their second warmup song. Again they played it straight through, and again Lisa listened to her bandmates around her. They were stunning.

Again, she played the same way she always had.

Her stomach started to hurt as they finished warming up and moved on to newer music. Lisa couldn’t help the anxiety building as they practiced.

She didn’t want to be left behind, she wanted to be part of the band. Of course, if she fell behind it would be her own fault. She wasn’t pursuing music professionally, so the others would naturally be better than her. Lisa knew that it wouldn’t be hard to find a replacement bassist with ten times as much talent as her.

Still, she loved being in Roselia. She would keep reaching, would keep practicing and fighting for her spot. After all, she was fully devoted.

Lisa tried not to frown during practice, but at times it slipped through. She thought about practicing more when she got home, working to improve her technique.

She left practice with a new knot of stress within, pushing her to try harder.

Today should’ve been perfect, but it wasn’t.

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Another day, another Roselia practice. Sayo wasn’t available, which led to Lisa being the first to arrive.

As she flicked on the light in the studio, she already felt exhausted. The week since their last rehearsal had been a busy one. She was working on two school projects consecutively, one of which wasn’t even done yet. Multiple work shifts kept her out late into the night, with barely any free time for extra practice.

Even though there wasn’t much of it, Lisa used that spare time to practice. Late at night she plucked away, trying to hone her playing and improve. She played the parts over and over again, until the pads of her fingers ached from continuing to hold the strings against the fingerboard.

Today her eyes were heavy, but she was prepared for practice. Lisa set up her bass in the usual spot, and immediately began working on one of the harder passages in R. The bass line was fairly exposed in that song, so it was a good place to improve her performance.

Yukina arrived next, with her usual curt greeting. Lisa paused to reply, keeping her hands on the bass. She resumed playing a moment later, as Yukina lingered near the doorway. Yukina’s mouth was set in a firm line, eyes cast down towards Lisa’s bass as she played.

She looked lost in thought; perhaps she had forgotten something? Lisa was about to stop playing again to ask, when the studio door opened once again.

“And there’s this huuuuuuge monster at the end!” Ako came through first, waving her hands in the air as if to express just how big it was. “It demolished the whole party.”

Behind her was the last expected band mate for today. “I suppose you need… higher attack debuffs.” Rinko followed Ako in, the familiar sight of them together washing over Lisa. She still didn’t understand half the words they were using, but it was nice to see them together.

Yukina seemed to snap out of whatever funk she was in, as she turned to watch them pass and then follow them further into the room.

“Your character can do that right?” Ako stopped near her drums, turning back towards Rinko as she brought both of her hands together in a praying motion.

“S-she can, but…” Rinko started to set up her keyboard as she carried on the conversation. “I don’t know when.”

“We’ll figure it out, it’s a permanent raid!” Ako plopped down at her drums.

“Y-you’re right…” Rinko finished setting up her keyboard.

Yukina grabbed a mic stand and carried it to her center spot. “Are we ready to begin?” She asked, looking between her band members.

“Yeah!” Ako pumped one fist in the air, drumstick clenched tightly in it. Rinko merely nodded.

Yukina’s eyes landed on Lisa last, clearer than they had been earlier.

“I’m ready.”

The corner of Yukina’s lip lifted slightly, into the slightest hint of a smile. Lisa’s heart thudded strangely in her chest. “Very well, let’s start with Ringing Bloom.”

Lisa quickly dispelled the feeling, moved her hands to the right starting positions. Then they were off, playing the piano centric tune. It made sense to work on this song, since it could be useful to practice it without the guitar.

In this song, Lisa had another chance to listen to Rinko play. How much she had improved was even easier to hear in the solos, in the long exposed piano features.

They played the song through multiple times, stopping once to adjust the balance. By the end of the fourth time, Lisa’s fingers were starting to hurt. That was unusual, since she could usually play for longer without any pain. She ignored it and kept playing.

Then they moved on to a different song. This time it was R. Yukina probably chose it for the same reason as Ringing Bloom, since it could be helpful to practice it without the guitar.

The bass line in this song was far more complicated than the one in Ringing Bloom.

The first time through Lisa was able to play it properly. She tried to use an improved technique from practice, but it was hard to do at full tempo. She would need to keep working on it in order to improve.

As they started to play the song for a second time, Lisa’s fingers again twinged with pain. It was her right hand this time, the one plucking the strings. She shook her hand out for a moment, resuming playing almost immediately.

This play through of R was not so smooth. Though Lisa tried her best, she messed up multiple times during the song. She just barely out of time, usually behind. It almost threw off Ako, who often listened to the bass line and looked to Lisa for cues.

Yukina stopped the song midway through with a wave of her hand. “Watch the tempo.” She said, and started it again from the top.

Lisa was able to keep up this time, but she knew she wasn’t playing her best. It was the opposite, she was playing badly. She knew it, but she couldn’t seem to play any better. Each note felt worse than the last.

No matter how fast she moved her fingers across the strings, the sound wasn’t improving. As the song went on, her face and neck felt hot. Tears welled up in the corner of her eyes, held in by sheer willpower. She couldn’t cry here, she wouldn’t.

How frustrating it was, to practice for hours on end and still achieve nothing. To come early and rehearse this very song, only for it to go this badly.

Yukina stopped the song again. Her eyes were narrowed as she turned, but widened when they met Lisa’s. For a moment, nobody spoke.

“We should take a break.” Rinko broke the silence, which Lisa was both grateful for and mortified by. Everyone could hear how poorly she was playing. They all knew.

Yukina broke her gaze away from Lisa. “15 minutes.”

Rinko muttered a quiet thanks, then turned to Ako and asked her to go help get drinks. Ako shrugged, but complied. The two had soon left the room.

This left Lisa alone with Yukina. The vocalist hadn’t moved since calling the break.

Lisa turned away from her and started to lift her bass strap over her head, but flinched in pain as she did so. Her fingers, which had merely ached before, had hurt when pressure was applied. Lisa quickly looked down at her hand, and gasped.

Her right index finger, the one she used to play, had a small blister developing on it. Lisa hadn’t had blisters like these since she first joined Roslia, a couple years ago. They were quite unpleasant and, if burst, potential points of infection.

Lisa used her other hand to take off her bass, then knelt down by her bag for something to cover the blister. She had some bandaids, which should do the trick. She wrapped one around the blister carefully, making sure to cover it fully. This would stop it from growing and potentially bursting while she played.

“Is everything alright?” Yukina’s voice called from behind her.

Lisa took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She composed her lips into a smile, as real as she could muster. She stood from her bag and turned towards her vocalist.

“Yeah, thanks Yukina.”

Yukina was frowning, seemingly unpleased with the response. Her eyes flicked for a moment to Lisa’s now bandaged finger. “I was thinking,” she said, sounding more uncertain than usual. “We should spend some extra time practicing this weekend, just the two of us.” Her tone was light, unlike her words.

Lisa’s heart froze in her chest, and somehow thundered at the same time. After how badly she played today, she knew what this was about. She knew why Yukina wanted to practice together. The emotions she had shoved aside came back full force, the stress and frustration she felt.

What Yukina was suggesting was unheard of, she didn’t practice with just one of her band members. She didn’t baby them, didn’t shelter them. For her to do that now, Lisa couldn’t fathom it. No, this was to see if Lisa was good enough to continue.

If Yukina thought they needed to practice one on one, then Lisa was even worse than she thought.

After all of her practicing, all of her work for the band, she wasn’t good enough. She couldn’t make it. She didn’t belong in Roselia. Her years of devotion didn’t matter.

Roselia was reaching for the top. Lisa had been trying to catch up, but it felt like Yukina had already left her behind. She would never be good enough; this was just the first step. Soon Yukina would cut her loose, replace her with someone better. Lisa refused to wait for that day.

“If I’m that bad, you should replace me.”

Lisa’s words were ice cold, in an attempt to conceal emotions that were struggling for release. No matter how hard she worked, for the band or for Yukina, it was never enough.

If she stayed here, tears were inevitable. Even after what just happened, she wouldn’t cry, not in front of Yukina.

Yukina had lifted one hand towards her, mouth open as if to speak. Her eyes shook with surprise.

Lisa turned towards the door, unwilling to look at her for even a moment longer and leaving her bass behind as she fled the studio. Yukina called after her, Lisa’s name ringing like a bell from her lips, but she ignored her.

She swept past Rinko and Ako, who were returning with a tray of drinks. Ako tried to stop her, but Lisa insisted that she just needed some air as she passed.

She left through the front doors of Circle, took a deep breath of fresh air, and allowed a tear to drip down her cheek.

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Lisa was sitting at a picnic table outside of Circle, with her head resting against her arms. She had been there for about five minutes, venting her emotions onto the hard wood surface.

She had her back to Circle’s entrance; she didn’t want to see if anyone left. She knew she’d have to go back for her bass, but that could wait until later. Much, much later.

Lisa sighed deeply, sitting up and wiping her eyes. Her anger had faded, leaving heavy sour guilt in its place. Running out of Roselia practice, running away from Yukina like that, was a mistake. She had let her frustration get the better of her, allowed herself to act rashly.

Lisa thought she was done running away from her problems. She thought she was decent at the bass too, but not everything she thought about herself was true.

Behind her, Lisa could hear the sound of Circle’s sliding doors opening. She didn’t look at them.

Instead, Lisa buried her face back in her arms. Only children believed that if they couldn’t see the world, then the world couldn’t see them. Still, Lisa hoped for it to be true.

A set of footsteps slowly approached, proving that Lisa could certainly still be seen. They stopped next to her, as the person climbed into the bench to her right. They didn’t say anything, but even without looking Lisa knew who it was.

She turned her head a little to the right, opening her eyes slightly. Golden eyes, slightly red around the edges, looked back at her.

For a moment, neither said anything.

Yukina inhaled slowly, and then spoke. “Lisa?” That one word, the gentle way Yukina said her name, was enough to send Lisa spiraling all over again.

She sat up, looking dead ahead. “I… I’m sorry.” Her breathing felt ragged, like it was out of her control. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Lisa felt a slight pressure on her right arm. She turned her head slowly, looking down at the spot. Yukina’s hand rested gently against her arm. Lisa’s eyes moved from her hand up to her eyes, which felt like they could pierce right through her. “Will you tell me what happened?”

Lisa’s lower lip trembled as she searched for a response. All of her frustration over the last week, all of the time and effort she spent practicing for Roselia, it had been bubbling beneath the surface. Yukina’s question had just been the final straw.

“I just…” Lisa started, then stopped and had to try again. “Everyone in Roselia is amazing, and is learning so much this year. I feel like…I haven’t improved at all.” Yukina watched silently as she spoke, expression unchanging. Lisa swallowed hard; the next words were difficult. “With me as the bassist, Roselia will never reach the top.”

That was it, the heart of her fears and worries. That she was holding the band back, that they would never succeed with her in it.

Now Yukina’s eyes softened, as she reached down to lift Lisa’s hand with hers. “We wouldn’t be Roselia without you.”

Lisa’s hand was trembling now too, beyond her control. “Y-you’re just saying that. Any decent bassist could play my part.” She used her free hand to wipe her cheeks, pushing back the tears that she was forcing not to fall.

“It’s not just about the bass.” Yukina ran one finger softly over the bandaid from earlier, sending a shudder down Lisa’s spine. “Lisa, you hold Roselia together. You do so much for this band, for…” She paused for a moment, biting her lip. “I can’t stop you if you insist, but please, don’t leave.” The last words were almost a plea, a request that rang through the open air.

Even if she wanted to, Lisa couldn’t say no to that. When Yukina asked her to do something, when her best friend sat this close to her and looked at her with those eyes, Lisa’s heart had no power to refuse.

Lisa had clearly misunderstood Yukina’s question earlier, when she had asked for extra practice. She had jumped to conclusions, and she had hurt them both.

She quickly wiped an escaped tear away, though now they fell from a different emotion. “Of course I’ll stay.” Lisa said through a watery smile. “I want to stay.” She asserted with a stronger voice, making sure that Yukina knew that. “I’m sorry that I snapped at you.”

Yukina was smiling now too. She shook her head, “It’s alright, I should’ve been more considerate.” She released Lisa’s hand. It felt cold without her, and she wanted to reach forward to stop Yukina from pulling away.

“You’ve been plenty considerate right now.” Lisa commented, pushing that intrusive thought about hand holding aside. “I’m impressed.”

Yukina’s cheeks, usually untouched by emotion, flushed slightly pink. “Rinko helped me prepare.” Now Lisa wanted to reach up and touch that cheek, to brush the back of her hand against it and feel how warm it had become. She suppressed the urge, as she always did, turning her thoughts to her quiet band mate.

Rinko always had been the most emotionally astute member of the band. After all, she had been the one to call for a break and leave the two of them alone in the first place.

“I see, well we shouldn’t keep her waiting then.” Lisa rose from the bench, tapping her cheeks twice to compose herself. “Ready to head back in?”

Yukina stood as well. “Yes, Roselia has much to work on.”

As the two started to walk back towards the building, Lisa realized this was the first time she had spent more than a few minutes with Yukina for a while. They had both been so busy, they pretty much only saw each other at practice.

Maybe one on one practice wasn’t such a bad idea, if she got to see Yukina more. She did need the extra time practicing, which would be even more productive if they did it together. Yukina hadn't been insinuating anything by it, so maybe it wasn't a bad idea.

“About that practice session.” Lisa said as they reached the door to the studio, stopping Yukina dead in her tracks. “Does Saturday evening work?” She knew from the master calendar that it would.

“I’ll come over at 7:00.”

Next Chapter

#bang dream fanfiction #bandori fanfiction #yukilisa #lisayuki #imai lisa #minato yukina #shirokane rinko #earning that ship tag this chapter #oh god this chapter #i worked so hard on this #it contains my entire soul #my yukilisa soul which has been dormant for like two years

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